Suicide is when a person takes their own life intentionally. However, this does not mean that every person who experiences suicidal thoughts wants to act on them. Some of these people are feeling excruciating pain and are just searching for a way to escape them. Below we will outline the risk factors and warning signs that can alert you to someone’s intent. We will then discuss how you can approach someone you are worried about whilst also providing steps you can follow to cope with your own thoughts and feelings.
Suicide prevention
Risk factors
Risk factors refer to a set of characteristics that, if present, can increase the likelihood that a person will think about, attempt or die by suicide. This can include:
- Family history of suicide
- Having someone in your life that is dying
- A struggle with chronic pain, physical health problems
- History of abuse
- Financial worries
- Attempted suicide in the past
- Suffering from mood disorders such as depression or bipolar disorder
Warning Signs
If there is a person who is having suicidal thoughts, they will exhibit behaviours that will act as warning signs of their intentions. The best way you can help is to be able to spot these signs and know how to respond to them. Some of these warning signs include:
- Talking about killing or harming themselves
- Looking for things that could be used in suicide attempt like drugs
- Feelings of hopelessness.
- Talk about their lives being unbearable, say that they have nothing to look forward to
- Feel trapped, things won’t get better
- Feeling like a burden on everyone
- Self-destructive behaviour such as increased drug or alcohol use
- Not wanting to do things they normally enjoy
- Saying goodbye to close family and friends, giving away valued possessions
What to do if you are worried about someone
There is a stigma attached to suicide whereby there are some people who believe that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide can be dangerous as it could put ideas in their heads. However, this is actually quite the opposite as acknowledging their feelings can be a relief as you are giving them an escape for the pain they are experiencing. Before having this conversation, you should bear in mind the following:
- You may try to reassure yourself by saying that you are wrong or that you just don’t know what to say but anyone who shows these signs needs help immediately
- Undoubtedly what you are going to hear will come as a shock to you and will be difficult to hear but you have to let them vent out their feelings
- Ask open questions to encourage them to talk and try to limit your interruptions. This will allow you to understand what they are going through
- It has taken them a tremendous amount of courage to open up to you so you should take every word they say seriously by not downplaying their feelings. Be supportive and avoid being judgemental.
- Remind them that they are not alone
- Be patient. You shouldn’t make them feel like they need to get everything off their chest right now. This is because they may need some time to articulate what they are feeling. So, you should acknowledge the significance of what has been said and arrange another time to speak.
- Just by talking to them you are helping but you cannot work through this alone so you should encourage them to seek help from a professional, you can offer to go with them if that is alright with them
- Make sure that they do not have access to anything that they can use to inflict harm on themselves
- Stay in touch. Check in on them, go out with them for a walk, to the cinema, send them funny videos to try to cheer them up
How to cope right now
You may be feeling upset or in pain and in this moment, they may be so overpowering that it distorts your mind into thinking that taking your life is the only option. You may not be able to see it right now but these feelings are temporary and will pass. If these thoughts become more frequent and overwhelming you may want to make a plan to keep yourself safe.
Here are a few things you can try:
Visit GP
Booking an appointment with your GP is a good first step as they can help you get access to different services that will be able to offer you long term support. It is important to be in control of every step of this process so if you wish to have to some support with you, ask a family member to join you.
Visit GP
Booking an appointment with your GP is a good first step as they can help you get access to different services that will be able to offer you long term support. It is important to be in control of every step of this process so if you wish to have to some support with you, ask a family member to join you.
Making your home safe
You can do this by removing anything in your immediate vicinity that you could use to harm yourself or ask someone to do it for you. Also try to avoid any drugs or alcohol as these can exacerbate the thoughts and feelings you are having.
Making your home safe
You can do this by removing anything in your immediate vicinity that you could use to harm yourself or ask someone to do it for you. Also try to avoid any drugs or alcohol as these can exacerbate the thoughts and feelings you are having.
Distraction techniques
When you are going through a dark moment in your life that triggers suicidal thoughts it can be helpful to distract yourself. These distraction techniques will help by providing you with something else to focus on which will in turn help quieten these thoughts. Before we list some of these distractions it is important to note that what works for one person will not necessarily work for another. Therefore, you should find what works for you and what you enjoy, this could be:
- Go outside for a walk or do some exercise
- Play video games
- Try drawing, painting or colouring
- Make playlist of favourite songs
- Read a book
- Create a to-do list of everything you have to do this week
- Watch a film
Additional Resources Available:
Talking to someone can be difficult as you may feel that they will not understand or you may not be comfortable having this conversation face to face. In this case there are several helplines you can contact who will help you every step of the way. These include:
HOPELINEUK (open every day 9am-midnight) – Call on 0800 068 4141, Text on 07860 039967 or Email pat@papyrus-uk.org
Samaritans – Call on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. Their lines are open 24/7, 365 days a year
National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK – 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)
NHS 111
Maytree – 020 7263 7070
CALM – phone lines open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year on 0800 5858 58