Lying is something that is generally frowned upon but, everyone has done it at some point. You may have been hiding a gift from a family member or pretended you didn’t do something that was embarrassing, above all, we can all lie at times. It’s normal for people however, at what point does it become too extreme? When looking at pathological lying we can see how excessive lying becomes such an issue that it can damage our lives.
Pathological lying/Mythomania
Mythomania is a tendency to compulsively lie. If you meet someone that tells white lies, that’s perfectly normal. Telling a small lie here and there to avoid hurting someone’s feelings is fine. Nevertheless, it’s still very different from what a pathological liar will do. When it comes to their types of lies, you will find they create huge, detailed stories where they may be portrayed as accomplished. Even so, you may find they can lie for no reason, it could be something where there’s no benefit in lying.
The key thing to note is pathological lying can be a sign of underlying mental health illnesses or a personality disorder, there are many reasons why they could be doing this. For instance, some may be perfectly fine yet, they will fall into this bracket.
Causes
- Antisocial Personality Disorder. People who have this disorder are more likely to exhibit criminal behaviour, they will lie for their own benefit, by being manipulative and trying to take advantage of others. Those with this disorder usually have a lack of empathy for those around them.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A narcissist will be extremely self-centred. They can require recognition from others and may create creative lies that are centred around making them look better. They could also lie because they have no consideration for their peers
- Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is characterized by a strong fear of abandonment, there can be many symptoms and some with the condition may lie frequently. Even so, it usually remains different from compulsive lying.
- Anxiety/Depression. Those with anxiety or depression may lie to avoid breaking their low self-esteem or to prevent any strong feelings of anxiety.
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorders. This disorder can cause people to have strong obsessions or compulsions that they can’t control. For some of them they can lie from compulsion.
Coping with a liar
Trying to assess if someone you know is a pathological liar can be very difficult. Many of them have fabricated a lot of details you know about them. There are a few ways to identify if what they’re saying is a lie:
- The person may have crazy stories or attainments they have made that don’t seem realistic.
- The stories will be very detailed and extravagant.
- The storyteller is usually put into an admirable position, or they are seen as a victim, usually they are in a positive light.
- Sometimes they can answer everything but the question you ask as a form of evasion.
- The details can change, you may hear them say something that was different from what they said before.
- They may have details to the story that can’t be validated by anyone.
Now its important to remember that there can be many reasons for why the individual is lying, they could have a mental illness or be hiding a serious issue, its not always a bad incentive. Try to see if anything significant has changed in their lives that may explain their behaviour. On another note, for people that are lying excessively we have some ways on how you should try to respond.
Responding to a liar
- Don’t get angry. The last thing you want to do is let your emotions get out of control. Try to be cool headed. Remember that these people have a condition that can make them lie out of habit, although the reasons can vary however itsusually not aimed at the person their lying to.
- Question them. Instead of being direct it can be better to ask them about their lies for instance they can contradict themselves or notice that you are suspicious.
- Be direct but supportive. For some, it may work to address the issue with the person by being supportive. You can do this by disengaging when you know their lying and telling them while being calm. Subsuquentely this can help them understand that your not willing to speak to them until they tell the truth.
- Refer to support. If the lying is an ongoing issue, it could be best to recommend them to receive medical support. Pathological liars can be victims to their condition.
- Keep a distance. For people that don’t need to engage with the person, it may be best to leave them. If you’ve tried all the other options and confrontation does not work, it could be best to avoid them.
Diagnosis
Due to the habit of lying, pathological lairs can’t be directly diagnosed, they may lie about any medical conditions. For diagnosis they may use a lie detector test, to see how frequently the person lies. This helps them understand if the issues with them understanding that their telling lies or that they believe them. Family members or friends may be spoken to as well to get a better idea of how severe the condition is.
Treatment
If you’re struggling with excessive lying or have a friend that you want to support, therapy is a good way to help them address the issue. Additionally, a huge issue is the person may find they lie to the therapist as well, so there can still be problems. Many of the people with this condition lie to the point that they can’t stop. If they keep lying to their therapist, it can slow progress down for treatment or prevent it entirely. Therefore, mythomania may require very specific treatment. if you think the reason for the excessive lying could be down to drug abuse or mental health, they may need a different type of support from someone else with the condition. For those that are considering receiving help, try to find an experienced psychotherapist that you feel comfortable consistently seeing.
