Surveys show that close to half bereaved people experience poor mental health such as feeling of anxiety and depression following the death of a loved one. Many people advised they felt mental health was triggered by their grief, just under three quarters stated that they have experienced feelings of depression and almost two thirds said that they had felt anxious after experiencing a bereavement.
The heavy weight of grief
Looking into why bereavement causes feelings of poor mental health, surveys report two thirds of people felt they were unable to opening about their grief to those around them, despite being able to talk freely. Members of the public admitted that they would fear saying the wrong thing to someone who has suffered a loss. Grief is an evitable part of life, and it doesn’t help losing a close loved one, and you may find that the support and comfort offered by family and friends isn’t helping you work through the stages.
So, what can help?
First, it can help to develop an understanding of the grief and mental health process that most people in the situation experience. Even though every loss is unique, and each person irreplaceable, there are some common phases to the mourning process, if you understand these ‘stages’ of grief, you’ll see that you aren’t alone in your confusion, turmoil and pain and that things improve as you progress through the stages.
The second thing that can help is tuning into to how you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing, and then expressing those emotions and thoughts. Most societies have mourning rituals, so you probably had a support network to lean on right after your loss. But as time passes, friends and family get back to their own lives, and it can become hard to find someone with whom to share your feelings.
Simple ideas to get through a difficult day
- Get outside, spending just a few minutes outside can elevate mood and help you get
through the day and is great for mental health. If you can get outside and spend some
time in nature, that will have a powerful impact. - Do something that brings you joy. Have something to look forward to at the end of the
day. Ge together with or plan a phone call with good friends or family. Engage in your
favourite activity and try and make your soul happy. - Remind yourself of all you have overcome, and you have overcome difficult situations
before. Remember you are the same person, and whatever qualities helped you to get
through a difficult time in your past is still part of who you are. - Think about what you are grateful for. Gratitude is the easiest way to change your mood,
energy, and attitude. Keep it small and think about what simple thing you are grateful for.
There is always something to be grateful for, even on our worst days. Focusing on it
makes us feel better. The power of gratitude is greatest during difficult times. - Remember that dealing with grief you are not alone and will not last forever. When we
are going through a difficult time, what can make things feel worse is thinking that things
will never get better. If you have experienced difficulties in the past, remind yourself that
they are either gone or you have learned how to cope with them.
Does talking about grief help?
Talking about grief and things that bother or affect us doesn’t change a thing in the world around us. In fact, it’s not at all unusual to hear people ask, ‘What is the point of talking about ‘it’, if talking about it doesn’t change it? It’s not that self expression – talking about grief and mental health, changes the world. Self-expression has the power to change you as a person and your mindset, and the way you see and experience the world. Putting your feelings and thoughts into the world around you. As a result, you connect to your environment and the people in your life. This makes you more whole. Words give meaning and clarity to your feelings and thoughts once they are out of your head. Sometimes you may be relieved of them.
Expressing means to press, squeeze out, reveal, bring to light, or reveal something. Sometimes, if you can’t express, you explode. And the danger of such an explosion is particularly acute if you’re dealing with something as devastating as the loss of a loved one. Talking about the grief allows you to sort of freedom and provide comfort to your mental state,
the freedom to recognise and overcome troubling feelings and thoughts.
Setting grief healing goals
- What do I need now?
- Can I think of one realistic goal?
- Which steps will help me reach my goal?
