Mental Health

How to get over a break up

4 Mins read

An ending to a relationship is always difficult, especially a romantic relationship ending. Do not get me wrong friendships and fallings out are hard too but how to do we detach us from a person we have been romantical involved with for however long? It is hard, at the start you will be feeling the worst. Like you do not know if you will be happy again. It sounds dramatic but if you have been through it before or are going through it now, you will know what I mean when I say that. you have strong feelings for this person so its understandable, you have been with this person for a long while they have become a big part of your life and its sad when it is over, especially if it was not ended on your terms.

Breakups can be a tough time for both people though. If you are the reason, it ended you are still allowed to feel sad and can still find it hard to get over the person or situation. No matter the circumstances if you are struggling to get over someone and I am going to teach you a few ways on how to move on and be happy.  

Learn to accept

The first and most crucial step to having any sort of progression will be to accept what has happened. It can feel unreal for so long and it will take you time to accept what has happened has happened. You need to let go of all hope of things being how they used to or to try again because you cannot guarantee that is going to happen. If it does then that is great, however, to start the healing process you will need to have come to terms with the fact you are not together anymore. And that is okay.  

Support

Once you have accepted reality you should start talking to your support network. Talking about your feelings, as we know is the best for your mind. It is not good to keep all your thoughts inside. Express your feelings. Even if you do not wish for advice at this moment in time you will still benefit from someone listening. A breakup is a hard and sometimes a lonely time so you should surround yourself with loved ones who are there to support you.  

Its okay to be sad

While you are doing the first two things you also need to let yourself feel the emotions. Do not try and act okay too quickly. Give yourself the time to really get all your feelings out. Get rid of any sort of distractions, it can be easy to go off the rails or start abusing substances or sleep or any sort of distraction. You need to deal with your emotions face on as it will only come back around at some point anyway. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself! But once it has been long enough you need to be ready to pick yourself up. It is also okay to have good and bad days just because you are sad today and you were not yesterday does not mean you are not progressing. You must take the good with the bad.  

Self care

Once you have completed these steps it is time to start putting yourself first. Self-care will help you feel and look your best. Starting the gym is a wonderful thing to do when you are going through a breakup. It is a great stress release and obviously great revenge! However, you need to do things for yourself. Get fit, feel good, have fun, learn that new skill all for your own benefit not to get anyone back. The first month after a breakup you have the most motivation to level up and progress in life so use that time and feelings to fuel an excellent work out or whatever you decide to do. Invest in yourself for yourself and no one ese will be the best revenge anyway.  

Be excited for the future

It is time to be excited for the future. You have so much life ahead of you and by now you are finally realising this while break up thing is not too bad. You do not feel so Lonely or hopeless for the future and you are starting to see how great life is without them. Now is the time to do the things you wanted to do but never could. Having fun nights out with your friends, looking after yourself, seeing family more etc.

It is important to realise everything happens for a reason. A person should never be able to have such an effect on your life. You should know and learn to be okay with people and be just as good without someone. When you are with someone you must worry about them too. You have someone Elses feelings to always consider which may result in you not loving life how you would like. Being single means, you can do what you like (within reason) 

Be happy alone

One of the last steps is realising you are better off by yourself. A few months after the breakup you will have noticed now you have taken a step back from the relationship you can see some of the things you were not happy with, and you are happy you can do now you are single. The aim to heal after a breakup is to heal by yourself. I would not suggest using someone else as a distraction because it will only come back round to you. It is better to be sure you are good by yourself. In many ways, such as your independence, your money, your happiness etc. Then you always know if this happens again, or another relationship fails that is okay then you know you are good by yourself. 

Be happy

The last step is to be genuinely happy. Happy with yourself, your mind, and the direction your life is going in. After the breakup, it is hard to see how you are going to be able to do life without that person. It is never as scary as it seems. You need to be okay to live life. by yourself. It is okay to miss them and miss what you had but it is also important to know that sometimes it is not meant to be. Some people come into your life not to stay but instead to teach you things and that is okay. Whatever is supposed to be will happen. Worrying and stressing if you will ever get back together or whether you will stay friends is pointless because what is meant for you will be yours.

Always remember a door closes so another one opens in a years’ time none of this will matter or you will be in a completely different stage of your life just remember you love yourself and know your worth n never settle for anything you do not deserve.  

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