Stubbornness is a very common thing and it is normally used when someone is determined that their beliefs/opinions are correct and not accept when they are in the wrong because of their stubbornness. People with addictions are normally very stubborn, not wanting to admit/see that they need help and this can be very difficult to try and give them the help they need.
What makes someone stubborn?
People can be stubborn for many reasons that may be specific to events or interactions that might trigger their stubbornness. People may be stubborn as it may have helped them in the past in getting something they want so they may stick to it, or they could be stubborn on an opinion that they believe is right, or it may be getting help. However, for many people it can be very hard to deal with someone that is stubborn, but there are ways to deal with it in a good manner.
Stubborn people can’t deal with people disagreeing with them because it means disagreeing with their beliefs and opinions and they may feel disrespected and become hostile.
Addictions and stubbornness
When someone has an addiction, most of the time they are in denial about it. Being stubborn and in denial can make it really difficult to help someone you love. Stubborn people don’t like when someone questions what they see to be right, so an addiction can definitely enhance that. Having an addiction can be very straining on someone trying to help the person with the addiction, and them being stubborn refusing help as they don’t feel they have an addiction can be difficult.
How can you help someone with an addiction that’s stubborn?
Firstly, you need to understand the addiction. It is not as easy to tell them to stop. When you have an addiction, you rely and are bound on the feeling you get, and coming across too strong may make them hostile and even violent.
Don’t tell them they can stop right now, explain that there is help out there and you want to help them
Don’t belittle them, this will only make the situation worse
Tell them it’s their choice if they want to get help and better themselves
Explain how it affects loved ones and how it interferes with their abilities to maintain relationships, or how it affects their kids, family
Don’t blame them
Make it clear that you are there for them and only want the best for them
Someone with an addiction can only get help if they choose to. If they are forced into it, most likely they will relapse. Give examples on how it affects their abilities and how it’s affecting loved ones around them.
How can it affect the person being stubborn?
Someone being stubborn when in dire need for help can affect them both physically and mentally. Whether it’s from an addiction or mental issue, not getting the help you need will not help. It can cause further issues whatever the original issue is, and trigger mental health issues. For example; If it is an alcohol addiction and someone is determined that they do not have an addiction and is very stubborn about stopping, it can cause issues with depression and many physical issues like liver problems, heart and brain issues, etc.
It is very important for stubborn people to get the help they may need, however it will be difficult when dealing with their stubbornness. It is very dangerous for someone struggling to not accept/see that they need help as it stops them from getting better. Stubborn people tend to succeed more than others because they never give up.
How can stubbornness affect others around?
Stress
Draining their energy
Feelings of helplessness
Wary
Stubbornness can push people away. It’s hard to help someone that doesn’t want to admit or see that they need help. However it is so important to try all we can to help our loved ones, but you shouldn’t carry it on all by yourself. If you know someone that needs help but you are struggling to get through to them, you could contact a therapist or a GP to get advice on how to move forward.
Signs of stubbornness
Determined that you are right and can do no wrong
Fear of change
Argue about everything you feel is right
Personal attacks to those who don’t agree with you
Feelings of anger and frustration when someone is trying to convince you of their feelings/opinions
Is stubbornness a good or bad thing?
Stubbornness can be good for getting what you want and maybe progressing in something like a work role because you are determined. However, stubbornness has a lot of bad qualities that don’t make it quite so good. Stubbornness not only can affect your wellbeing, it can also affect the relationships you are involved in and shatter them. Some stubborn people will never admit when they are wrong and would rather be on their own and “correct” than admit that they are being too stubborn and may be wrong for once.
Many people that are stubborn don’t care about anyone else’s feelings, as long as their point is across and no one contradicts their thoughts and feelings. However being stubborn is not all bad, it mostly depends on the extent/seriousness of the stubbornness and the reasons for it.
Stubborn people tend to succeed more than others because they never give up.
How can you stop being a stubborn person?
Remind yourself that you are not always correct no matter how badly you want to be – We are all human and it is ok to be wrong about things, you just have to remind yourself of that.
Be patient and kind with yourself – Remember that change does not occur overnight, these things take time.
Listen to others – Stubborn people tend to not listen to others as they are determined they are right. Listen and understand the other person’s point of view and don’t give judgement.
Agree to disagree – Many issues would be resolved if we just agree to disagree. Everyone has their perspective and opinions on what’s right, it’s how we compromise to have healthy relationships that matter.
