Children of divorce often face many challenges in their lives, and naturally parents also experience concerns in this regard. Separation of people is a big change in their lives, that affects the future of their children.
As well as, children fall victim to parental decisions.
Awareness of the harms of divorce will help you make wise decisions or protect your child from the harms of such a problem.
What are the characteristics of children of divorce?
Some believe that divorce has certain characteristics in the children of divorce.
Due to the greater vulnerability of children, parental divorce has a greater impact on children.
They do not have the cognitive abilities to adapt to new situations, so divorce can become a serious tension for them.
The continuity of the child’s relationship with the parents determines the extent of damage to the child’s mental health.
The manner of separation of the parents, the degree of competence of the new guardian of the child and the maintenance of the parents’ relationship with their child will determine the characteristics of the children of divorce.
When parents decide to divorce, the process should be such that they do the least harm to their child. It is important not to bring your fights and arguments into the world of children. Talk to the child according to their age and explain.
Mental disorders of divorced children
During divorce, children may experience feelings such as fear of rejection, insecurity, distrust of the future, or hatred, which can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety and worry, substance abuse, and future suicide.
Also, the problems of divorced children in school are one of the most common cases that involve educators and teachers, and it is necessary for them to consider how to treat divorced children properly in such situations.
Feeling guilty about divorced children
After a parent’s divorce, the first though that comes to mind is that the child must have made a mistake or it was his or her fault that you broke up.
It is important to talk to your child before divorce and to explain the reason for your divorce according to his/her understanding.
A dual sense of sadness and happiness
If you ask divorced children how they feel right now, they may be confused.
On the one hand, they feel sorry for the families they do not have, on the other hand, they are happy that they have been relieved of the tension caused by their parent’s arguments.
Negative self-concept of the characteristics of divorced children
Sometimes a child may worry that his/her parents no longer love him or her.
So, he finds a negative feeling about himself that is not lovable, if this feeling continues, it will lead to isolation and stress in children.
So, be sure to express your love for him by being kind to the children and show that he is always the prince of your heart.
Academic decline
Adapting a child to parental divorce takes time so, he will be suffering from academic failure at first due to distraction and lack of concentration.
In some cases, he may get involved with other children due to anger.
It is best to talk to the teacher, school counsellor, and let them know.
Isolation is a characteristic of divorced children
Children of divorce, because of the difficult experience they had and their parents abandoned them, are cautious in trusting others because they do not want to be rejected again. So, they need to feel safe again.
Divorced children have a negative view of marriage
Divorced children may not be willing to accept the commitment or marry in the future.
Of course, this negative view depends on the parent’s relationship and how they separate. In fact, marrying children of divorce may face certain challenges; because, they do not want to experience what happened to their parents again; for this reason, they may create special conditions in their life together.
Emotional vacuum
One of the characteristics of divorced children is lack of love. Your child needs the love of a parent to be emotionally supportive. Guardianship of one parent or their family alone cannot compensate for this deficiency for children of divorce.
The child living with one of the parents and its effects on mental health
Living with one of the parents can be harmful and it is necessary for the child to be able to meet both parents in some way after the separation of the parents.
Children of divorce repeat childhood behaviours
Children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years may return to behaviours such as stickiness, enuresis, thumb sucking, and mood swings. If you notice regression (return to childhood behaviours), you should know that is may be a sign of increased stress to your child or his difficulty in conveying and expressing his emotion.
These behaviours can be worrying. Of course, you may not know where to start helping your child. You should try to take steps to make your child feel safe.
Strategies to reduce the psychological effects of divorce on children
- Concentrate when talking to your child
- Discuss the issue with the child’s teacher
- Tell your child about the difficulty of deciding
- Tell your child that separation is not a response to his or her behaviour
- Talk about how normal her/his feelings are
Concluding remarks on the psychological effects of divorce on children
Many divorces research and writings show that children are resistant to divorce. But the psychological impact of separation and divorce in the first to third years of a child’s life, that is, one to three years old, is more challenging.
In addition, not all children experience the negative effects of divorce in the same way.
Those who live with high levels of conflict and problems may even find separation a positive thing.
Do your best to explain to your child that you are still a family.
Although changes have been made to its foundation.
Remember that most importantly, your child wants to know that he/she enjoys your unconditional love and support, no matter what your relationship status.
