Perfectionism is a term used for individuals that won’t accept anything other than perfection in anything they do. It can affect how they work, their appearance or views on relationships. Although it’s not seen as a mental illness traits of perfectionism can be found in OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) or OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder).
Types of perfectionism.
There are different types of perfectionism, self-orientated perfectionism, socially-prescribe perfectionism and other-orientated perfectionism.
Self-orientated perfectionism is an individual that sets unrealistic standards for themselves. They feel extreme internal pressure to fulfil their expectations they set for themselves.
Socially-prescribe perfectionism is when an individual believes that society has high expectations of them. If their expectations are not fulfilled they will see the individual as a failure
Other-orientated perfectionism is when an individual thinks that others should meet their almost impossible expectations and see those that don’t as a failure and can be highly critical of them.
All these types of perfectionism can have lasting effects on a person’s mental health.
What effects can perfectionism have?
Perfectionism can have serious effects on your mental health. It can lead to self-defeating thoughts which can it harder for you to achieve your goals. This can cause you to develop depression due to the cycle of thoughts. Your only desire is to live your life is to avoid harsh judgements or failure. This can make you feel drained as you feel that you cannot fail at the things you do, you put extra pressure on yourself so you don’t fail. You begin to see your life as an endless report card, your accomplishments and looks always have to be perfect. Living in fear of failure can turn into a phobia of failure which will drain you mentally. You will be quick to pick out faults in your work or the way you look and being overly self-critical can lead to low self-esteem.
Struggling with perfectionism can cause mental health issues to worsen overtime. Constantly living in fear of failure can cause depression, anxiety, eating disorders and even suicidal impulses. Constant toxic comparisons, feelings of worthlessness can all lead to depression. Being driven by failure can make you feel as though you are constantly wearing yourself down to believe you are as you think and learn to have a negative self-image.
The impacts of perfectionism.
Perfectionism has many different impacts on a person depending on where their perfectionism takes control. Whether it be on how they look, their work or their views on how others should be.
The impact perfectionism has on a person when it takes control of them as an individual can be personally damaging in many ways. When a perfectionist worries about how they look they take an extra-long time to plan their outfit. Even if it is to walk to the shops and take even longer doing hair, make-up and finishing getting ready. After all of this if their appearance still isn’t perfect they will see themselves in a negative light. This then causes a low self-worth. Low self-worth can cause someone with perfectionism to become addicted to working out to get their idea of a perfect body. This can become unhealthy and even dangerous to health. Continuous low self-worth then causes depression and suicidal thoughts.
The impacts perfectionism has on a person when it controls their work or hobbies they enjoy are becoming a workaholic. Putting all your effort into work and getting perfection out of the work you do can be draining both physically and mentally. You can become exhausted and drained once you have finished. It can take you almost double the amount of time to complete work compared to colleagues because you asses your work as you do it bit by bit. Instead of at the end or at points during. Becoming physically drained can cause you to burn out, having a burn out can cause health implications and weaken your immune system. A burn out can also cause you to develop chronic stress.
Perfectionism and loved ones
Living with perfectionism you feel as though you are the only one who suffers when in fact your loved ones also suffer. You as a perfectionist has a view on how friends and partners should be or act towards you. It is hard for them to live up to your high standards, if they don’t live up to your standards this causes conflicts between you. with friendships you can grow jealous of their success and become envious of them. this behaviour then creates friction between you both and can cause arguments and disagreements.
You can also struggle with making new relationships whether it be friendships or love interests because of your extremely high standards. Others know they won’t be able to live up to these standards and withdraw from forming relationships with you. This can cause a perfectionist to isolate themselves from others and they can even form a social phobia. This is also known as social anxiety, you may not like to be outside or in larger groups due to the fear of how others see you.
Signs of a perfectionist and treatments available.
There are many signs to spotting a perfectionist these signs are
- Spending excessive time writing and rewriting a couple of sentences
- Believing that missing 2 points on a test is a failure
- Difficultly being happy with others success
- Focusing on the end result rather than learning
- Avoiding playing games or learning something new with the fear of not being perfect
- Taking extra-long to pick an outfit and get ready
These signs are all ways that you can see if someone suffers with perfectionism. Treatments can differ with each individual but overall CBT is proven to help. CBT changes the way you think to stop you worrying about being perfect all of the time. The mental affects like depression and low self-worth will also subside once you worry less about being perfect.
Hypnotherapy also helps to combat perfectionism. It battles with your thought process of ‘all or nothing’ and your daily battles with giving your all constantly slowly stop as your thinking changes.
There is also some ways you can self-help. Questioning your ‘all or nothing’ thought process on your own, writing down positive things about yourself, attempt to mess up on purpose and trying a new hobby are all different ways to combat your perfectionism on your own. If you struggle with self-help going to your local GP can start the process to getting professional treatment.
