Losing Someone is Never Easy
Introduction
Everyone eventually experiences loss, no matter how much we wish for it to never happen.
We all want our loved ones to live for an exceptionally long time. Unfortunately for us, a long time is never enough.
The ones who are left, are left to cope with the hole that is left, trying to fill that missing piece. We just must do our best to get through this period of suffering, hoping to heal and live our lives thinking of the future.
What we have left to live for, are the fond memories that our loved ones have left for us.
When you lose something that holds a great deal of value to you, it can be hard to overcome. What we have lost can be a person, a relationship, or a career.
This article will explain how we can cope with bereavement; to look past the pain and remember the good.
Symptoms Of Bereavement
There are many ways in how people react to bereavement. How we deal with these emotions all differ, as do how we cope.
Some common symptoms include:
- Shock and numbness – the first reaction to loss, as a sort of disbelief and rejection of reality.
- Overpowered grief – tears, acknowledging the loss.
- Exhaustion/ lack of strength – a type of powerlessness is felt
- Anger – towards the situation
- Guilt – e.g., for not cherishing your time with your loved one.
Coping – What You Should Do
Talk To Someone
You should know that you are not alone. Try to give voice to your thoughts and feelings. Talking to a close friend, family or a professional may offset that feeling of isolation.
By voicing your thoughts, it will allow you to come to terms with the situation and can help negate some negative emotions.
Manage stress
Stress is always hard to deal with and even more in the case of loss.
Try some breathing exercises. Remember to take a break, so you do not wear yourself out.
Make a list of what you should do. List them by priority. This helps you feel like you have control of your life.
Enjoy Yourself
Indulge yourself. Have a spa day, read a book, or listen to some music.
Do some activities that you prefer, like baking, or dancing.
Do not indulge in alcohol, as this is only a short-term fix and will only make you feel worse afterwards.
Boost Self-esteem
Be positive about yourself and about the things around you.
Try and look at things in a positive direction.
E.g., If something went wrong today, stay positive that tomorrow will be a better day.
Resilience
Building up resilience to life’s negatives, allows you to bounce back easier.
You will not let things keep you down and will not let your pain take control of your life.
Healthy Lifestyle
Keeping to a healthy lifestyle is always good for the body and mind.
Avoiding alcohol, limits negative emotions.
Exercise can put you in a better mood. It will also make you sleep better and keep your heart healthy.
A good balanced diet, makes sure you get the right nutrients, making you feel stronger and allows for a sharper mind and healthy body.
Sleeping between 7 – 8 hours a day is a good amount an adult should have, to keep yourself refreshed for the day.
Peer Support
You may feel comfortable talking with someone who is, or has been in the same situation.
Having contact with others who have been through the same pain, will allow you to understand that you are not alone.
Another person’s experience in loss and how they have coped can be a way of motivation to you.
Coping – What You Should Not Do
Do Not Feel Isolated
Do not shut yourself away and hide behind your grief. Try to let in those who care and are there for you.
Do Not Focus on the Unchangeable
Set your focus on the things you can accomplish. Concentrate on things that are doable.
Avoid Alcohol, Drugs, Smoking and Gambling
These do not help with your mental state.
Negative thoughts and emotions will intensify and worsen.
It might give a short relief from feeling the pain and loss, but is only a short-term solution, which just magnifies the negatives you feel.
Do Not Do Everything at Once
Take your time, one step at a time. Try not to get yourself overwhelmed.
Take things one task at a time. Do the achievable.
